Hi! I am suffering from some major mom guilt that is pulling me in two different directions. We are in Mammoth for a few days to kick off Spring Break. It has been two years since I last snapped on a pair of skis and skied with my husband and twin boys. They no longer need to enroll in ski school, they can ride the chair lifts and follow Matt down the mountain. While it is so important that they get some awesome daddy-time, I have been missing out on watching them ski and advance. I get to experience their enthusiasm and tales from their adventures through their stories. I love to witness their passion through their storytelling, but it is time to experience it first hand. Frankly, if I don’t get back up there soon, they are going to be way better than me and I won’t be able to keep up.

I have decided to ski this trip. But that means, I must leave Coconut with a babysitter, a babysitter she has never met before. I did get the recommendation from a reputable source, a dear friend of mine with twins of her own, so she isn’t completely random. She is just a complete stranger to Coconut. Other than family members, I do leave her (and her brothers of course) with a babysitter who she absolutely adores, a woman who was there when she came home from the hospital, so yes I do leave her with others. But she has never met this woman before. Is she going to freak out? Will they have fun?

To go or not to go, that is my mom dilemma (“momilema”).

On the one hand, I feel badly leaving Coconut with a sitter she has never met for four hours on a family vacation so I can go ski with matt and the boys.

On the other hand, I feel badly if I stay back with Coconut, and miss out on the adventure and time with G and B, and that I won’t get to see the skiers they have become firsthand, only via videos.

Side note-I tore my ACL 2 months before our wedding 8 years ago. Needless to say, I am a bit timid on my skis. Yes, I probably should get over my fear already; I have skied since but let me tell you, that recovery was horrible, worse than either of my c-sections!

I know I need to go ski for a few reasons, I need to spend time with G and B, give them my focus and complete attention. I need to go ski so I can get over some of my fear and get comfortable on my skis again because it seems that skiing is something this family is going to do regularly. I know Coconut needs to become familiar and comfortable with being left with others.

We will see how tomorrow goes! I’ll let you know how we all do. I would love to hear some of your mom guilt stories! Please share them with me.